


A chunnin for Christmas

by Valeria_Penhallow



Category: Naruto
Genre: Christmas, Christmas proposal, M/M, Marriage Proposal, kakairu - Freeform, kakashi being a jerk for love interests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 11:05:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17744753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valeria_Penhallow/pseuds/Valeria_Penhallow
Summary: Kakashi had everything perfectly planned for Christmas Eve... That is, until Anko and Gai decide to have sex in his kitchen and Bull swallows Iruka's present. Now, what poor excuse will he come up with to buy time?





	A chunnin for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This is the translation of my work "Un chunnin por Navidad", the Secret Santa I had to do for a dear friend who is in the KakaIruKaka Community of Facebook! 
> 
> As always, I hope the translation is good enough and all of you can enjoy it!

 

 

“Kakashi, I swear to God, if you don't get down from there right now.....”

“But… Ruka!”

“Neither Ruka nor Ruko! Hatake Kakashi, get down from that counter right now!”

“…”

“…”

“I don't want to!" Kakashi finally exclaimed, hugging the console box againt his chest even tighter. Iruka screamed in frustration, meshing his hair. That dumb ninja was going to drive him crazy, too. And it was well known to all that, just as in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is the king, in the land of the madmen, Hatake Kakashi is the damn emperor.

“Kakashi, don't you understand that we're out of money?” The teacher tried to reason with her boyfriend for the umpteenth time. Needless to say, they were the main attraction of the mall: two respected members of the community arguing loudly with one of them perched on the counter like a monkey, clinging with all his might to the console of his dreams, while the other, laden with gift bags, tried not to strangle him.

“This is your fault," cried Kakashi like a madman from the top of the counter. The shop assistant no longer knew what to do. She had called the security guards of the mall, but Kakashi had counterattacked with the chewing gum and old women's compresses that were on display next to the cash register.

“My fault? My fault! You have courage, Hatake! It's Christmas, of course I buy gifts for everyone! And I remind you that you've already received your gift!

“Ahhh, noooo nononono... Don’t try to trick me with this one, sensei! Since when is sex interchangeable for an Utimate 5 console?!”

 _Oh, dear Lord, I’m going to kill him right there_ , Iruka thought, as he felt all eyes on him and his whole body start to burn with shame.

“And if you go on like this, you'll have to settle for that "gift" because it's going to be the only sex you'll have until next year," Roared the brunet. Kakashi paled. No sex? No sex!

An "uuuuuuuuhhh" was heard from the audience that, as if it was a tennis match, was now watching Kakashi, who suddenly smiled wisely.

“Luckily for me, next week is New Year's Eve.”

Iruka was going to kill him right there when he realized something. And suddenly, he stood very, very still. Kakashi's smile froze, so many years of relationship helped to know each other's war tactics, and Kakashi had learned a long time ago that when Iruka screamed, well, okay, that used to be ugly, but he could handle it... However, when Iruka got quiet… Better to run as fast as possible and, if possible, in zigzag.

“Kakashi... Did you just say that making love to me couldn't be compared to a stupid console?” Iruka's tone might well have frozen Hell, but for now he only made Kakashi swallow.

Shit...

“No," he replied in a very high-pitched voice after a few minutes of tense silence. They had even turned off the carols that looped through the loudspeakers in the mall.

“Careful, Hatake... you've just swallowed your own balls...“ Iruka whispered in what might well be described as the voice that every hired assassin must necessarily have in order to be given the license to kill.

After sweating a couple of very cold drops, Kakashi cleared his throat, aggravating his voice by several octaves.

“No..." he answered again, this time in the voice of a smoking truck driver. Iruka rolled his eyes; Kakashi feared he was summoning Satan.

“Oh, come on, Iruka! Both of you are two different kind of love!”

Iruka decided to take a deep breath, because he had a dinner to celebrate that night and, of course, killing your boyfriend and arriving at your own party with bloodstained clothes was rude.

“Because it's Christmas, I'm going to be merciful and let you live for today, pretending I never heard anything..." Kakashi sighed relieved. “In return!” Shit. “In return, I want you to get out of that cash register right now, leave the damn console in place and apologize to this nice lady who hasn't called the police even though you threatened to shave her head in her sleep if she dared to take the last of those stupid consoles”.

“…”

“…”

“Honestly, I’d rather die” Kakashi? Apologizing at his stage in life? Please! He didn't have the maturity to do that shit, and Iruka knew that as well as Kakashi himself.

“Kakashi!" he shouted exasperatedly.

“I said no! I'll take it!

“Enough!" roared Iruka like an ogre, leaving the bags on the floor and, in microseconds, the teacher stood by the counter, pulling Kakashi.

“Get off!" said Iruka as he pulled his partner's sweater.

“No! “Let me go!” Resisted Kakashi. Iruka gave a last pull, but he slid back and staggered with a gigantic row of shopping carts, which began to roll until they found the table where there were many glasses of champagne in a pyramid. The figure broke, the glasses ended up on the floor and the liquid spilled, soaking the floor completely. Then, a waiter, who was bringing two bottles of champagne in trays, slipped and one of the bottles crashed into some of the light decorations. Automatically, the bulbs exploded and there was a short circuit that gradually left the entire mall in the dark. On top of that, the sparks set fire to the enormous Christmas tree that decorated the central square of the shopping centre.

And the, the shit hit the fan.

.

.

.

That night, and after several hours in the police station and declaring before the judge on duty -who had let them go just because it was Christmas Eve-, Kakashi and Iruka walked through the streets of Konoha, on their way to the Hatake household, where they had lived together for over a year now.

Kakashi felt bad. While the situation itself had been hilarious, the Hatake heir was well aware that Iruka was upset. Those were his partner's favourite holidays, and Kakashi had behaved like a spoiled brat with sugar problems. Had it not been because Iruka had no blemish on his record and was an exemplary citizen (not Kakashi, but that’s another story) and because the judge had been benevolent, they would have spent Christmas Eve in jail.

Kakashi looked out of the corner of his eye at Iruka. The brunet had an extremely frowned brow and his lips were pressed into a thin line. Needless to say, his eyes were fixed on the front. It was obvious that the last thing Iruka wanted to see right now was Kakashi.

“Iruka, I'm sorry...“ Kakashi whispered, really embarrassed by his own behaviour. Silence. Absolute, uncomfortable and guilty silence. Kakashi scratched his neck impatiently. “Really, Iruka, it's just that I wanted to play with that console so much that... I behaved like a jerk... I'm really sorry...“ He said, standing in the middle of the street to look at his partner in the eyes so that Iruka could see the honesty behind his words. But Iruka turned a deaf ear and continued walking.

Ah, damn it... Kakashi could not tell him the real reason for his behavior... could he? In any case, the plan had gone to shit as soon as Anko had decided to have sex with Gai in the kitchen while Kakashi and Iruka cleaned the garden of the Hatake household for Christmas Eve dinner. The kunoichi, in the middle of the act, grabbed the cupboard above the counter, and threw it to the floor without even realizing the secret gift Kakashi had prepared for Iruka. Needless to say, Bull did not contribute when, after hours, he found the contents of the box under the table and swallowed it. And all this six hours before Christmas Eve dinner. Luckily, as soon as Kakashi told Asuma and Kurenai what had happened, the two jounin agreed to help before the question even left Kakashi's lips. No way was he going to tell Anko what it was what Bull had swallowed; that woman did not know how to keep her mouth shut, especially if she was close to Gai, who sooner than later would be shouting at the top of his lungs poems about Kakashi's New Year's resolutions. So, while Asuma and Kurenai waited for the huge mutt to shit the damn gift, Kakashi had had to figure out the most stupid but entertaining of all the excuses they could come up with in order to buy time.

Ah, Kakashi wanted to die. He looked straight ahead; Iruka was almost lost in the crowd. The Hatake flinched and quickly made his way through the people until he reached his boyfriend.

“Iruka, wait...“ Kakashi made him spin by taking him by the shoulders. It was then that, although Iruka turned his face quickly, Kakashi could see the tears filling his lover's eyes. Oh no... Tears no, please. Kakashi had always believed he was immune to crying, but that was until, one fateful day, he made Iruka cry, and then everything he had ever believed in blowed up. Luckily, Iruka was not a wimp and Kakashi, despite being a bastard on most of his good days, didn’t have to face those tears that made him feel like crap very often.

“I'll pay the fine! “ He babbled, not knowing what to do. Iruka stopped in his tracks. Suddenly, his shoulders began to tremble.

“I-Iruka...?”

“This is ridiculous...“ The chunnin replied with what pretended to be a laugh, but his voice was cracked “I don't even know why I'm trying, if it's more than obvious that you don't like Christmas....

“That's not true, Ruka...“ Whispered Kakashi, daring to take three steps in Iruka's direction.

“You told me yourself a long time ago that you hated them! And I....I've been a selfish fool, trying to impose myself...” he whispered that last one. Kakashi felt the earth beneath his feet tremble. He sighed.

“It is true that I hated Christmas... In the past. In fact, it has become one of my favourite moments of the year...” Kakashi confessed with that low, deep voice that he had reserved exclusively for Iruka, for those times when they were alone and shared secrets in the darkness of their bedroom, hugging each other. And for that very reason, Kakashi managed to get Iruka's attention” The teacher finally turned around to look at him with the saddest face Kakashi had ever seen.

“I have always been alone, Iruka... I hated Christmas because it's one of those times of the year when family and friends come together to share laughs and happiness... Or to remind you how sad and lonely your life is. I spent years trying to avoid Christmas with missions, and poor me when there were no missions left for this time of the year, because I felt miserably alone... And then I met you, I liked you, Asuma gave me a punch to wake me up and finally I managed to trick you into going out with me.” Kakashi joked, getting a tiny smile out of Iruka. Kakashi took a deep breath. Luckily, dinnertime was approaching and, in just five minutes, the street was almost completely deserted, so there was no one there to see all that.

“To be honest, at first I thought we wouldn't last long, because we're very different, but still... Well, the challenge was worth it... I mean, look at you...“ Kakashi tried to explain himself by gesturing in the direction of Iruka, pointing to his entire body. The brunet rolled his eyes despite the blush.” The case is... I thought we weren't going to last long, the same way I thought I hated Christmas... Obviously, in both matters I was proved wrong... Because you're more than a pretty face... You ended up being my world... And you ended up being it because you suddenly entered my life like a damn earthquake. You have become my family, Iruka... In fact, had it not been for you, surely my friends would have ended up giving me up, so I should also thank you for the time you slapped me and forced me to go to Asuma and Kurenai’s wedding, even though I had a fight with Asuma the day before...

“It was interesting to see the groom and the godfather, both of them with a black eye..." admitted Iruka, amused. Kakashi smiled with a spark of relief in his eyes. Sensing that the waters had calmed down, he approached until he was next to Iruka.

“What I'm trying to say is that, yes, I hated Christmas, but only because I didn't have you... Since you came into my life, I have a family to celebrate with, a house that I can really call home and decorate and fill with gifts and shouts and arguments because... You can't deny that all this shit is stressful...“ Iruka shook his head while laughing quietly, the tears that had been running down his cheeks, now dried. Kakashi's Sharingan stopped hurting, and that's how the copy ninja knew that all that was over, that he had managed to placate a crisis of catastrophic dimensions.

“I really am sorry” He whispered, taking the last step that separated him from Iruka. The teacher looked at him with a small smile on his lips.

“You're a snake charmer...” Iruka accused him, bemused. Kakashi nodded like the scoundrel he was.

“Yep, but that's nothing new," Kakashi replied with a sly smile, twining an arm around his lover's waist, gluing him to his body delicately, just as Kakashi loved to have Iruka. Will you forgive me? He begged one last time. Iruka scrutinized the other's gaze, and only when he could find nothing but honesty, he nodded slightly. Kakashi knew it, that Iruka was ashamed of public displays of affection, but he simply found the chunnin too lovely to resisit. Kakashi joined his lips with Iruka's in a slow, tender kiss. Fortifying his hold on the brunet man's waist, Kakashi made sure to squeeze his companion even tighter, bringing his free hand to Iruka's neck, playing with the shorter strands of hair, those that weren't long enough to reach the hair tie. Iruka, clinging to Kakashi's shoulders, melting against the older man's frame. Kakashi was definitely a snake charmer.

When they parted, they stood there, holding each other, swinging at the rythm of a carol echoing in a distant street. Meanwhile, the dark clouds covering the night sky finally dropped the first snowflakes of those Christmas.

“Your Christmas present has been swallowed up by Bull, so I have Asuma and Kurenai waiting for him to poop....

“Kakashi, are you telling me that you have put us behind bars just to buy time? “ Iruka asked, looking at him in astonishment. Kakashi shrugged. The chunnin laughed.” Gods... Why didn't you tell me that from the start?”

“I wanted everything to be perfect..." the jounin confessed, embarrassed.

“Ah, and since it was better to end up in jail than to admit that your dog ate my gift....

“And now that you finally understand...

Iruka laughed. For a moment he believed that, all these years, Kakashi had been resisting the urge to run away at Christmas for him, because he did not want to disappoint him. But Iruka wanted Kakashi to see the beauty of those holidays, he wanted the copy ninja to feel the same warmth that Iruka felt when, after practically adopting Naruto, he began his own family tradition with the little blond. He wanted Kakashi to stop feeling lonely... to start seeing him as part of his family, because for Iruka, Kakashi was already family. And now that he finally knew that Kakashi felt the same way, it was as if he was walking on the clouds... Besides, if he thought about it properly, all in all, everything had actually been quite amusing.

“So... making love to me can't be compared to an Ultimate 5 console, huh?" Iruka asked. Kakashi would have been startled if it hadn't been for the smile that graced the lips of his favourite person.

“Who wouldn't want a chunnin for Christmas?" he replied with a predatory smile before attacking Iruka with kisses, making him laugh.

After a while, they resumed their march, but this time holding hands.

“By the way, what does a wedding have to do with all this?," Iruka asked when they were already at the door of the Hatake state.

“Eh?" was Kakashi's eloquent reply.

“Yes... Before, you said "talking about weddings", but... I don't understand what has one thing to do with the other...”

“Ah... You see...“ Kakashi tried to get out of the impasse he had gotten himself into, but before he could say a word, Gai opened the door of the house with such a force and joy that he almost destroyed it.

“MY GREAT RIVAL, CONGRATULATIONS! “ Gai saluted him, patting him on the back so hard that he almost knocked Kakashi down. Then he turned to Iruka. Kakashi could only see with a horrified face how his perfectly planned plan was definitely going to waste. Asuma and Kurenai tried to stop him, but the green beast of Konoha simply rammed them like a bull.

Kakashi, watching everything in slow motion, thought of how simple and beautiful everything should have been. As soon as everyone had finished dinner and the gifts were exchanged, he would kneel in front of Iruka, who, being the romantic he was, would weep at the sight of the engagement ring.

A proposal at Christmas Eve.

Kakashi had been thinking of asking Iruka to marry him for so many months now... Until it occurred to him that Iruka would love that if he did so on his favourite night of the year and surrounded by what they considered their family. Of course, he hadn't counted on Anko and Gai's libido or a swallowing mutt.

“IRUKA-KUN, HOW BEAUTIFUL LOVE IS! I AM SO JOYOUS THAT MY BELOVED RIVAL HAS FINALLY GATHERED ENOUGH COURAGE TO DECLARE HIS ETERNAL LOVE TO YOU! JUST LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, YOUR LOVE HAS GROWN STRONG AND UNSHAKABLE! I AM SO HAPPY THAT SUCH BEAUTIFUL SOULS ARE GOING TO JOIN IN MARRIAGE" Shouted the taijutsu master at the top of his lungs, shattering one by one all the dreams and illusions Kakashi had ever had. Gai shed tears of masculine happiness; Kakashi, tears of stress.

“So this is a Grinch... He even wears green… What the fuck?“ Whispered Kakashi to himself, wanting to die right there.

Iruka, completely surprised, felt his face burn as he understood the situation. He looked at Kakashi, who seemed hesitant between committing suicide out of shame, strangling Gai, digging a hole in the ground and hiding his head forever there or a combo of the three.

As Anko, Asuma and Kurenai tried to calm an overexcited Gai, and Naruto and the rest of the dinner guests came out to see what the hell was going on, Iruka approached Kakashi and framed his face with cold but tender hands. Kakashi shook, but at last his gaze focused on something other than Gai, and as he caught the dampness in Iruka's eyes, all his attention went to those precious brown orbs. Iruka smiled, and with a broken voice of happiness answered the question that Kakashi had yet to ask.

“Who wouldn't want a jounin for Christmas?

 

**FIN**


End file.
